Why Men Divorce - Top 5 Reasons They're OUT
The end of a marriage is emotional – whether you know you have made the right decision or not. And the reason women leave often differs from why men leave.
According to Marg Doherty, coach at family law firm, Divorce Hub, the reasons for initiating divorce are always complex and different in every case.
“It's difficult for most couples to cut through the emotional issues and get to the root of the cause. Finding clarity in the divorce process is key to healing and moving on from the whole experience," she says.
While women are the most likely to initiate a divorce, there are a variety of reasons why men bow out of their vows.
1. In Sickness… not so much
The number one reason men leave a marriage is their spouse has fallen ill. They may have promised in sickness and in health, but the statistics prove health is far preferable.
In some cases, men feel incapable of providing the care or support their wives need when they have received a serious diagnosis. However, in many cases, the diagnosis simply amplifies the marriage issues a couple was already experiencing. Generally, the longer a couple has been married at the point of diagnosis, the more likely they are to remain together. The statistics also show that divorce is more likely if it is a woman who has received a serious diagnosis.
This should come as no surprise, but infidelity is one of the main reasons men file for divorce. Men find it more difficult to cope with the infidelity of their partner, though men also leave due to their own infidelity. In most cases of infidelity, it isn't the root cause of a marriage's deterioration, it's a symptom of a much bigger issue.
3. Financial Issues
Money might make the world go ‘round, but it can also be a major factor in divorce. If one partner makes bad financial decisions, it generally impacts both partners. This is particularly true when the husband is the "breadwinner" and feels his spouse spends it all. This can result in a feeling of being taken for granted, but it can also lead to power struggles that aren't conducive to a happy relationship.
4. Blended Family Drama
Blending a family can be a challenge, whether both spouses have children from previous relationships or just one does. Regardless, children are always a priority and part of being a married couple is accepting those children and filling the role of stepparent. Men commonly walk away from new marriages due to friction between their children and their spouse.
You don't need to be a blended family for children to cause marital issues. Disagreements over how best to raise children can be a big issue as well.
5. A Lack of Quality Time
One study shows that a high percentage of marriages end due to a lack of commitment. Life can be chaotic and when things get busy, partners should come together. Sometimes life pulls you in the opposite direction and that can make a man feel neglected. One-on-one time is valuable, even if it's just chatting on the couch after the kids are in bed.
Marriage isn’t easy, and sometimes issues arise that can strain a relationship to the breaking point. To ensure you have done all you can before making the difficult decision to divorce, it's important to address problems early on and do your best to find a solution.
Spending quality time together or going to counselling may make all the difference. But if divorce is the only option left, try to keep in mind that it may be necessary for the greater good of everyone involved.